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William Benjamin Jackson

"It must have been love..."

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Created on 2017-09-16 13:46:01 (#3291751), last updated 2017-09-16 (445 weeks ago)

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About

Name:	William Benjamin Jackson
Birthdate:	Jul 5
Location:	New York, United States
Website:	@ dreamlikenewyork

Mini Bio

NOTE: This new version of Will is a complete retcon to his previous muse, written by a new mun. He picks up around 9 months after he was dropped and last appeared and retains his history with Justin, Luke and Layla, where he forms a significant part of their muse construction. Should his previous mun return, we can discuss how to proceed. Until then, he will be starting a afresh from now on.

William Benjamin Jackson let his life crash and burn when he made a big mistake of letting his first love slip away from him. He hadn't been prepared for the shock and fear he would feel thinking his leukemia had relapsed and when he needed everyone the most to smack him out of his bad choices, he pushed everyone away... including Justin, who he never dreamed he would lose by his own choice. Head spinning, standing a amidst the shattered pieces of his life, before he knew it, Justin had finally pulled the plug on their relationship when Will wasn't there for him during one of the worse relapsed of his Bipolar and PTSD that climaxed in the horrific event of Justin trying to drown himself at Bondi Beach in Sydney.

Will hadn't just dropped the ball once with his love life. He let it slip from he fingers way more than Justin deserved, but he blindsided himself into thinking that Justin had simply been there, so he would still be there once Will figured out why everything was all of a sudden overwhelming him and making him feel like he didn't know what way was up. And he knew, as soon as it was gone, how badly he had fucked it all up. He wouldn't ever forget the look on Justin's face the day he ended their relationship, nor would he forget the look of sheer fury behind the glare Justin nailed him with when he showed up to Jett's New Year party blind drunk and punched Justin's new boyfriend, Sasha. It shattered his heart into a million pieces and it was in that moment he realised he had thrown everything he loved in his life away.

It wasn't only Justin, that was just what hurt the most. Will also destroyed his friendship with his BFF, Layla, who had been at his side all through his battle with leukemia and even shaved her head when he lost his hair from chemo. And because of his actions towards Sasha, he lost his internship at FABULOUS, Justin's mom's magazine, working with journalist and model, Harley Rayner. Writing had always been Will's passion, but he even threw that away, though he had no fucking clue how. He lived and breathed it his whole life. It kept him sane - apparently - and kept him striving for something that mattered. Because when you stared death in the face, making life matter should always be your priority.

With all that bottoming out from under him, of course his other friends turned their back on him. Maybe they could haave tolerated the fact he fucked up his relationship with Justin. Not that they tolerated him hurting Justin, but they gave him a chance to put it right. Instead of doing that, he turned to booze and hit Sasha... which was the nail in the coffin with the rest of his friends too. His big brother, Luke, had been furious with him. That wasn't the worst. He disappointed Luke too, when he had always looked up to his brother as his hero. When Luke looked at him with disappointment in his eyes, telling Will he was moving back to Sydney to live with their parents, Will knew he had lost his chance to protest. Luke had driven him to the airport in silence, saw him off at the Departures gate, and gave Will that final look of sad disappointment and defeat before he left. Will bawled his eyes out the entire first leg of the flight back to Sydney. It ended up being some of the worst months of his life... worse than fighting cancer.

Will learned first-hand what it was like for Justin to live with depression his whole life when he began to experience it himself. His parents enrolled him in a strict private school in Sydney, took him to see a doctor who referred him to AA and a psychologist who specialised in youth. Sydney didn't feel like home anymore. He didn't make any new friends and became a loner. About the only thing that seemed to benefit was his grades in school, because he threw himself into his schoolwork. He had stopped writing completely and his half-finished book laid dorment. At night, he would sit for hours on Google, searching what Justin was up to and hating on Sasha so hard, he threw his laptop across the room and smashed it. Back to the pyschologist he went, who prescribed him antidepressants and recommended a support group.

There were three other kids his age in the group who he kind of hit it off with. They all did some sort of physical activity to help them with what they were dealing with. One guy did rowing, another did swimming, and the girl, Jessica, did dance. That nearly turned into another trigger for Will's anger when she recognised him as Justin's ex boyfriend... loving dance, she was a fan of his and dreamed about seeing Footloose live one day. Her parents hadn't been able to buy tickets to the Australian shows they did, and she didn't win any of the competitions for tickets, despite trying her heart out. But instead of anger, Will discovered that talking to her about Justin was cathartic. He shared some of the happy memories of his relationship with her and she was a sympathetic ear when he lamented the break-up. She reminded him of Layla. That was probably why she was so easy to get along with.

It was Jessica who suggested he take up a sport, telling him that having a way to burn out all the frustration and bottled emotions really helped. So he told his parents he wanted to do swimming... and lifesaving. Never before had he had that interest, but after the shock of what Justin did at Bondi and knowing the lifesavers revived him, something inside him was pulling him to that. Little did he realise that the coach their parents hired to train him was Kade King, Olympic Gold Medallist in swimming, and the very lifeguard who pulled Justin back from the brink. Not only that, it turned out he was the lover of one of Justin's uncle Will had never met, Alec. It only came to light after a month of training where Alec worked him into the ground to get his Bronze Medallion in Surf Live Saving. Kade sat him down on the beach for a heart-to-heart, asking him how the fuck he screwed everything up so much. Will broke down and spilled the entire story to Kade. He nearly quit. Kade didn't let him.

That was the point his life made a turn-around. He found Kade to be an excellent listener while he trained. Talking with him, Will began to work through why he messed everything up and it boiled down to one thing - he hadn't coped with the fact Justin literally died and Will had no way of helping him, when all the other times, Justin seemed to bounce back just fine. More than that, Will exposed his phobia to his cancer returning and started to feel like he deserved to die, hence sabotaging his whole life and letting it get out of hand without asking for help. He knew then there was no returning anything to how it was. There was only healing, moving on,
and aiming to make up for some of the shit he caused.

Now, many months later, after Luke's marriage broke down in New York and he was left a single dad with his adopted son, Milo, Will has returned to New York to live with Luke and help him out. His brother was the first to forgive him, proud of him once again for getting help and working so hard to get better. Will wanted to finish school at his old school in New York, with his old friends, but he knew that returning was no guarantee anyone would forgive him. He had a lot of apologies to make, and a lot to repair. He was willing to step up to plate... and knew exactly where he had to beging with it - with Justin, so he could get closure, grow up and start his life over again.